A New Perspective: Sam Byasee

I tore my right ACL twice junior and senior years of high school,  missing both lacrosse seasons entirely before heading to Maryland. I ultimately ended my career after a third more significant injury, ACL included, to my left (i.e.”good”) knee spring of my sophomore year at MD.

Looking back, I definitely battled mental obstacles as well associated with both of those original injuries and the accompanying missed opportunities to compete. Those mental struggles compounded over time up until some time after I had stopped playing and negatively impacted a lot of things both on and off the field for me. 

The mental obstacles were something that initially began in high school missing so much time that I knew I would never get back playing the sport(s) I loved and built my life around. I was at least always able to look forward to and prepare for my next chapter at Maryland but when I got there and did not perform close to how I felt I was capable, or once was capable,  I struggled with it. Especially early on, the gap between expectations and reality after finally returning from injury as a Terp weighed on me heavily. I was restless at night, stressed and constantly anxious.  

I somehow never put it together but these things definitely hurt my overall ability to perform as a student-athlete and I needed help.

How did you handle “medical retirement” and the inability to play your sport again? How have those challenges shaped you as a person?

I actually think I handled retirement extremely well and it allowed me to begin growing a lot as a person.  I was offered and accepted the opportunity to stay with the team as an undergraduate assistant coach which I am still extremely thankful for and helped a lot with the transition overall.

I had an ego built around being a great athlete and My experience at Maryland was extremely humbling.  I went from always being one of the best players growing up and earning a generous scholarship to a blue-blood program in 10th grade, to probably being one of the worst performing players UMD had seen in a long time. I felt like I did not belong there and the imposter syndrome was very real. I eventually made some progress on the field which was great but ultimately “medical retirement” for me was, sadly, a relief.  

Surviving and deconstructing all of those challenges leading up to retirement, then showing up to practice every single day afterwards, so close to your unfulfilled dreams but still working to help your team and teammates as much as possible, has been a major positive impact on shaping who I am today.  

I am only 23 and I will carry confidence from persevering through my personal experiences and the lessons learned from Maryalnd forever in some way, shape, or form.

Based on your experiences as an athlete, what advice would you give to a younger version of yourself?

First, control what you can control. Second and similarly, live/focus on the moment you are currently in and can influence, not the things you should’ve/could’ve done in the past, or how things will hopefully be in the future. Lastly, be vulnerable and ask for help when you need it.

There are people out there dying to help other people and I was surrounded by so many amazing people and resources I could have, but did not, really utilize or lean into. This was not only true at Maryland but also true in my time spent injured and preparing for Maryland.  I somehow was able to successfully bottle up all of my struggles inside of me and then hid that bottle from all the people around me... people who loved me and would have done anything to help me.

I am sure my situation and feelings were not unique, so many people put up walls and say “I'm fine” or experience the same feelings and struggles I was, everyday. We’re all human beings so don’t be too tough, afraid, or stubborn to ask a question or ask for the help you know you need, when you need it.

This is especially true in sports because you may only have until you are 21 or 22 years old if you are lucky and never know when your last goal, practice or post-victory locker room experience may be.  And with that being said as well, the very first moment you begin playing a sport and every moment after, you are always adding to or subtracting from your end goals. Hindsight is 20/20 but every single rep counts and I had a ton of regrets about how I spent my time preparing for college lacrosse while injured in high school once I was exposed to the all-american levels of competition and talent in College Park.  

Along these same last  lines I wish I understood how potent things like diet and nutrition, mindfulness and psychology, and learning from people who have had similar experiences or accomplished your own goals can be when you invest the time into them.

What is something you would want people to know about your journey as a (previously) medically retired athlete?

That I am extremely grateful for all of the opportunities I experienced, people, friends and family who supported me or who I enjoyed playing sports and going to school with. My journey was hard at points but I would not trade it for the world.  Looking back, I was extremely lucky to even end up at Maryland.  I was a stud early on playing lacrosse but if recruiting rules were what they are today, I would never have gotten the opportunity to be in College Park after missing my junior and senior years of playing in high school.

I am lucky to have had my own personal experience at Maryland, one that opened my eyes to so many different things about life,  and to have made such amazing friends/memories I will always cherish and be grateful for.

It felt like I hit rock bottom in life throughout my career because lacrosse to me was almost everything.  I am thankful for that perspective now and I am no longer afraid to “fail” because in my head I have already been there.  I think a lot of people don’t get to experience that until later in life when things are a lot more important, or they have a lot less time to make changes,  another reason why sports are beautiful.

Is there anything you do today or want to do to help athletes that may experience injuries themselves?

Not currently, hopefully this might help someone somehow or some way.  I plan on coaching a little bit this spring and will pass on things I’ve learned in some capacity to those kids as much as I can.  

I’ve already said it but I could have done a much better job of preparing for college athletics/returning to sport and that is something that I am still passionate about today. I think there are ways I could help other kids out with that in the future but need some time to figure out how to really do that exactly.  My experiences have led me to being interested today in coaching and both mental and physical health, wellness and performance so we will see where things lead in the future, stay tuned!